we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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