I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
