ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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