In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
