Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
