It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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