My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
