The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
