is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
