Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
