I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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