so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
