My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
