You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
