Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
