We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
