So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
