too bad you live with your parents still
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
