ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
