Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
