I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
