Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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