Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
