i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
