i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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