Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize