you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
