he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?