Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won