i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
