Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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