we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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