bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
