the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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