I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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