ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
