I wish I only lived at night.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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