I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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