I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
