i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
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The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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