You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
