How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
