Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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