I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
