wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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