and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
