i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
