he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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