He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
