The maid of honor just puked.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
