Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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