I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
