i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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