Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
