You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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