Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
